Our Story and Mission
Why We Do What We Do
Do you ever get that feeling that something is missing from life?
You can’t quite put your finger on it, but somehow this puzzling question never fails to remind us, we’re not entirely fulfilled…
Many of us believe that chasing happiness is the goal, but when adversity comes, it drags us down and we find ourselves deeply disappointed.
It’s an innocent enough idea, but it has its pitfalls and it also sets us up for a life half-lived.
Why is this the case?
My name is Andrew Miles, founder of Clearly Wellbeing, and this is a story of how pursuing fulfilment instead of happiness can make life remarkable and meaningful.
Happiness is a trap
For years, I struggled with the narrative that we should all be chasing happiness. I still hear it now, ‘just think positively’ they say, ‘look on the bright side’, ‘you’ll be happy when….’
Well ‘when’ never came.
I was overwhelmed, stuck in a rut, and quite frankly frustrated that I wasn’t in this blissful state of contentment 24/7 like the ‘gurus’ promised.
The advice I found rarely seemed to make any difference. It was usually unrealistic, vague, and failed to prepare me for my lowest days.
Sure, there were some nice ideas, but they hardly scratched the surface or got to the root of how to achieve happiness, whatever that may be…
Yet, I didn’t learn my lesson, I naively pursued happiness in not so healthy ways.
I filled my life with fleeting moments of pleasure in an attempt to feel whole.
This somehow didn’t seem to do the job.
I read countless books on positivity to try and ‘top up’ my mood.
It only made things worse…
I was hopelessly lost and out of ideas.
I had no clue how to define happiness, let alone feel it.
Everyday I would wake up in a daze, drag myself to work uninspired, stare out the train window and think, is this really all there is to life?
It didn’t help that I was bombarded with the pressure of positivity.
We’re forced to see such an edited version of everyone’s lives, just the highlights, the best bits. Unaware of this, I couldn’t help but compare my life to others.
Comparison is the thief of joy
You don’t have to look too far to see someone who seemingly has it all.
So of course, it was hard not to feel down when you constantly see everyone living their best life.
I couldn’t help but question my reality… was I not worthy of happiness?
Did I not deserve to have joy in my life? And so the spiral of despair continued, leading to even more agonising questions that crippled my mind.
Sound familiar?
And then the unimaginable happens
A crisis struck our family – the kind that wipes you out and leaves you in pieces. Pieces so small, it was hard to imagine they’ll ever come back together again.
My sister Joanne, only days after giving birth to her daughter Annabel, was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
It was the lowest moment of our lives.
You really know when you’ve hit rock bottom, because you’ll finally reach something solid within yourself.
Change wasn’t an option anymore, it was a necessity…
I had to completely redefine what happiness was as clearly the old way wasn’t going to cut it.
When life presents you with trauma like this, your whole perception of reality shifts, you’re not the same person anymore and never will be.
Was staying as the same person better or worse?
Well that was for me to decide.
So my options were limited, give in and believe life is meaningless and cruel.
OR, accept the circumstances and yield enough courage to face it head on.
By no means was this decision easy, nor was the situation remotely happy. The grief and stress our family experienced was relentless. Doctors, nurses, appointments, scans, surgeries, disappointments, sleepless nights, not knowing how to make any sense of this. It felt like we were treading on quicksand…
But despite all of this mess, did I feel like I was in the right place?
Undoubtedly yes…
There’s something sincere and meaningful about having a mission, even when there is pain involved, and mine at this time was to support my sister and family by any means possible.
Joanne decided her mission was to be the best mother she could possibly be for Annabel, and what she achieved during her illness was truly remarkable and nothing short of a miracle.
You can choose not to waste your suffering
Sadly, despite all our best efforts, our hopes, and our prayers, Joanne passed away on 2nd March, 2018.
So I found myself back at the crossroad again, facing the same questions that haunted me before. This time however, after the grief became more bearable, the dark clouds lifted and I was able to see my path more clearly.
Now this surprised me…
Surely after all of the adversity, the idea of happiness would be even more distant and fainter than ever before.
But I realised, searching for happiness would not be the life jacket I needed…
It was finding meaning to all of this, and I could assign any meaning I wished.
The choice is always ours to make.
This single insight changed everything…
So I chose not to waste this suffering. I chose to seize this opportunity for growth in character. I chose to use this pain as a way to guide others through theirs.
Find your why, bear any how
I learned that chasing happiness is problematic, as no matter who you are, adversity will always find you.
Pursuing happiness means that every experience you find less than desirable will just be another reminder of why you don’t feel it.
Instead of aiming for a pain-free existence, perhaps it’s wise to aim for a life rich in meaning, then let joy and happiness be something we hope to experience on the way.
Because let’s face it, discomfort is part of the human experience, and accepting this can help us navigate life’s inevitable challenges with more resilience and courage.
I now know that if you can find your why to live, you can bear almost any how.
So what’s your why?
At Clearly Wellbeing, we help you discover your why.
To achieve the seemingly impossible, it all starts with a simple question…
Why?
When you can get so clear on why you do what you do, the what and the how will not stand in your way.
Through integrative coaching, insightful workshops and practical tools, we’ll help you take your vision and transform it into your mission.
We’ll be your guides, not your gurus.
I have my own limitations, my flaws, I’m perfectly imperfect, just like everyone else.…
Despite this, I’m committed to providing you with the practical wisdom that will help you lead a whole life, one that embraces joy and meets adversity courageously.
It’s clear now, you can’t choose what happens to you in life, but you can always choose how you respond.
Clearly Wellbeing is the sanctuary where you’ll discover how to respond – using insights, ideas, and tools to navigate through the complexities of life.
So let’s join together as we embark on a journey towards fulfilment, and a stairway to your full potential.